...I got involved in a pantomime earlier in the year, August, I think.

Tamworth Pantomime Company had put an ad in the local paper, saying that they were nearly ready to start rehearsing but lacked two people to play the King and Queen.

I'd read the story, reminding me of the last time I'd 'done' a performance, which was, aged 10 at primary school. Playing, oddly, the King in Sleeping Beauty. Which this panto was. I laughed, and threw the newspaper down. My Mrs picked the paper up later and she read it, asking why didn't I go audition.

Well, I did, I went, auditioned, and I got the part, semi reluctantly, I really didn't think I was cut out for this. Or any good at all.

And so started rehearsals, we had hiccups, not sure it being normal, or how anything worked. I just did what was asked of me and, well, 'played' at being this King.

I enjoyed it, sometimes it was tough, sometimes it was a right ol' giggle, sometimes it was tedious. But it was fun all the same, and I learned to enjoy the company of this 'merry-bunch'.

It was all new to me. I've been driving lorries and vans for many years. I'm quite used to solitude and 'my-space'. I cannot stress how different a world it is to my, i thought, 'normal' world. But these guys too, had 'normal' lives before, after, and during panto season, same as me. But the sheer dedication of these people staggered me at all times. 30+ year veterans some of them. I was a novice, a virgin performer, as it were.

And I got the best guidance and help i needed to get through it. Ian, Tina, Adam, Lee, Terry, many others.

And so we arrived at opening night, which was Thursday, just gone, the 13th December - I was absolutely crapping myself. Creeping towards the time I would have to leave the house to go to the theatre, with my mrs, Pat would act as my 'dresser'(lol..!). I'd pretty much guessed by then I really couldn't back out, and Pat would probably carry me there if needed..!!

I'd never ever seen the inside of a theatre in my life, never mind being on the stage.

Through the door, stage door (!!!), i went head looking around. Oh oh, seats..!! Looked at the stage, oh oh. That's a bit close to the audience. They'll see me. Stomach beginning to flip a bit.

Carrying my costume, which was home made between myself, Pat, and a friend. We walked up to the dressing rooms. Looked inside the cubicle that someone had misnamed a 'dressing room', gulped hard and set about getting changed. Putting 'me' down, and picking up 'King Bentley'.

Sharing a cubicle (dressing room?) with Alex (Lord Rupert), Andy (Meathead , a bouncer) and Josh (Knuckles, a bouncer). It was crowded, but manageable. Having a sense of humour helped..!!

And I could hear people coming in, amongst the general chatter and talking and larking about that goes on backstage. Which is just another world again..!!

I've seen films, I know what a television is. But you would just not believe the stuff that goes on behind the scenes at theatre. You just think, well, that'll be there when I need to reach for something. Little knowing that someone has to make this 'thing' and get it to where it should be. People fussing about backstage, "A stitch has come loose..!", "Anyone got a hair scrunchy? (a what??)", Lee (Good Fairy Rachel) moaning about how do women walk in heels. "Can someone straighten my wings?" (!) Just stuff i thought I'd never hear, ...ever.

And the music starts, we've started. My heart is pounding, my knees are literally shaking. I can sort of hear dialogue, some music. Then rumble...!!! Wasn't expecting that. Took a peek out the cubicle door,(gap with a curtain), and looked right. Pulled my head back, just in time to see a giggling mass of dancing girls go roaring past the door,(gap with a curtain). Oh oh. "me", it's you.

Up the short corridor I trudged, trying to look cheerful, but looking like a condemned man. Cast members grinning, wishing me luck, Laura, Olivia, Chantal, Abbey, Vicky and Becca also. All I can see is the door at the end of the corridor, blocked by Ghasthag (Terry) and Glen (Prince William). Wishing me luck one final time, I passed Terry, and arrived at THE door.

Following the dialogue over the speaker backstage, or at least trying to, I couldn't hear a thing with my King Charles wig on, the 'flaps' of the hair completely covering my ears. I was trying to think of my lines. Heck..!!! Where'd they go??? They were in my head a minute ago..!!

I'd arrived at stage left, I think. Ian (Simple Simon) telling me stuff, Tina (Nanny) telling me stuff, Linda (Queen Portia) telling me stuff, my knees quaking, my heart pounding, my crown and wig feeling far too heavy on my head, my sceptre weighing about the same as a large dog, me pouring with sweat, because of the heavy cloak, and hot water pipe situated lovingly right by stage left. And trying desperately trying to think of what on earth I have to say on stage.

Shove in the back, i'm on..........
.........bright lights..!!!

"Hey Rupert, I want a word with you.!" I called.

Then something else, something after that, a bit more. (All the while my heart is pounding, my knees quaking, me pouring with sweat). Start talking again, bit more. Get off. Stage right, heading for the dressing room.

"What happened there then?" I thought to myself.

Pat's got me a cup of tea ready, Alex (Lord Rupert), who was in the scene with me, and came off with me, saying, "That went ok then. "What did?? Flew past me.

And then my second scene, in which it's just me on the stage to begin with. EVERYONE (!), is looking at me (quaking). But it was ok, I did what I did, and got off. Straight round the back of the curtain and into the next scene. Did that one too.

Got changed for another scene, then again for another, then again, ...Then I'd said my final line.

And I got back to the dressing room, and put King Bentley down and picked "me" back up. I was asked how did i feel, having done my first panto? How difficult was that question..???

Well, the first feeling was amazement that I'd got through it without drying, corpsing, forgetting my lines, or laughing too much at the goings on in front of me. (Script? What script?)

Then a little exhilaration

Everyone saying, "Well done everyone.", "Great performance everyone.", "Same time tomorrow."

****

And we've done five performances, last one today, 16th.

And this is the one mine and Pat's family are coming too.

And So To Final Night.

My family were there, Pat's family were there, friends were there also. Myself and Pat arrived. Walked through the theatre, got to the dressing room (cubicle), put mine and Alex's' make up on, get changed. Put "me" down, and picked King Bentley up for one last time. Pat then went and sat in the audience with our two families. Pat hadn't actually seen the performance, but knew it by the end of the run, I reckon.

Anyway, I have an extra audience too, so I'm a little extra nervous, (a little..!!). People I actually know are sat down there. I'm sure my fellow players, and that feels good to say, would have already been through this on quite a few occasions. Having friends and family watching. This one was personal.

Everything about this whole production has been a first for me. And this was the first time I would have to do it without Pat backstage with me. And I was terrified.

So I resumed my pre-entrance routine. Already advanced, practised and honed well. I didn't need a script for this. My stomach flipped, my knees started quaking and my heart started to pound. My crown and wig still felt far too heavy on my head. Who replaced my plastic crown with a metal one? My sceptre felt really heavy. Who replaced the large dog with a small horse? Did someone turn the heating up?

I went and sat with Linda in her dressing room. (How many aerosols are there in a woman's world?)

We had a laugh and readied ourselves stage left. And we waited for our cue to go on stage, and shared a joke.

Shove in the back, I'm on..................................bright lights..!!!

"Hey Rupert, I want a word with you.!" I called, or rather King Bentley did.

I really was King Bentley tonight. I really got into it. Then something else was said, something more. And Lord Rupert (Alex) and King Bentley left the stage. Scene done, back to the dressing room, (cubicle) poured a cup of tea, sat down and picked up my script to ready myself for the next scene I would be in.

Rumble. Wave and smiled to the giggling mass of dancing girls roaring past the door (gap with a curtain). Went stage left and did mine and Queen Portia's (Linda) scene. Finished, ran around the back of the curtain and joined the next scene. Did another, and another. The night was flying by. Nearly burst out laughing on many occasions. (Script? What script). Not easy to control when I'm supposed to struck immobile by the evil Ghasthag (Terry).

And I was having a blast onstage. I was really enjoying myself. Not something anyone seeing me pre "Hey Rupert..." would have guessed earlier. Myself included.

And the final line was said. And the final wave to the audience given. And it was over. Went back to the dressing room and slowly took off Bentley, and put "me" back on.

I collected mine and Bentley's stuff, my lift arrived, I said my goodbye's to the already dwindling cast members. And walked out the front of the theatre, to be met by three sisters, granddaughters of a friend. Who asked if I was King Bentley. I briefly 'adopted' King Bentley once more and said of course I was. They said that they liked Bentley and the Princess but disliked Ghasthag.

I replied. "Well I'm the King, and I know a lot more than most. And I know that Ghasthag has really a heart of gold. They all have." And I walked to the car, carrying 'our' stuff.

I think I might miss Bentley.

Eamonn Burns xx